new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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