I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
there is glitter all over my balls
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
