I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
