I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
