apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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