Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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