you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
