Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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