So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
