Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I will be naked everywhere
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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