Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
