you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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