No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
