I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
