Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
