Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
