what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
where are you?
Hypothermia
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
