I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
