he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
