Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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