Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
