All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
