I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dick very happy bro
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
