Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The struggles of a small town man whore
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize