Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
