Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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