Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
