apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize