Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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