I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Alive.
So much puke
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
