if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
