What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
