I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
