How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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