You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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