I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm at about main and main street
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
