It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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