I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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