Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
