so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
