Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
