Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
