She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
