I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
