oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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