STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
