The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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