Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
