just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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