You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize