but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
