Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
