i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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