what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
