You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
