why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
