Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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