dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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