just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
