Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
