Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
