I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
