i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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