Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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