Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
