I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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