Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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