Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We don't watch enough power rangers
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
